August day..

Today is a perfect August day... white fluffy clouds and alot of noise from the tree frogs and locusts. My husband put a bird feeder in the front of the kitchen window along with a hummingbird feeder and I am amazed at how many birds come for breakfast, lunch and dinner.... and snacks in between! It is very relaxing to just listen and watch nature.

I like to think about what the Lord said about the birds..

"For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink ; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? " Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? " And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life span?
It is true... watch the birds and see how they approach life. They work for their living and they sing about their joy. Simple.

We make life to complicated and it starts with selfishness. I challenge each of you for one day to think about everyone else and their needs instead of your own. Try it for one day - it's all about others and when others feel this kind of love they can easily give it back.

You reap what you sow...

Unbroken Ties to the Past

Prior to marriage, we all have a number of loyalties and dependencies. But as soon as we take that wedding vow, our primary human relationship becomes our spouse. This brand-new relationship forever alters previous associations, even of the best sort.
Problems emerge whenever individuals do not sever emotional ties to old boyfriends or girlfriends. This is especially true when there has been a heavy physical component in a prior relationship. The bonding that took place was premature and wrong.
Unless the individual works hard with God’s help to stop reliving the old dreams and schemes of the past, then both the person and his or her spouse will suffer.
I am not suggesting that a person won’t experience a sudden unexpected recollection that comes from nowhere to wound like a fiery dart. We can, however, stop pursuing the emotional memory of a previous love. We must root out those recollections from our memories to the best of our abilities.
When all we do is chop the heads off weeds [like in gardening], then all we enjoy is temporary relief from their presence. They will be back —often in a more robust form than before.
I have seen the destructive weed of past ties wrap itself so tightly around a husband or wife that divorce is the result. In many such cases, the individual then seeks out and marries his or her previous lover.
At the heart of these matters is a theological issue —the difference between remorse and genuine repentance. A person may think he has repented of the sins of his past and moved on with his life, when actually he’s just very sorry that things didn’t work out.
If you need help determining the difference, you can be sure that repentance hates the memory of sin and resists its return at every point. But if the sorrow you feel keeps you focused on the past, beware of remorse that may be preventing you from acknowledging the root of sin. If you do not find a previous sinful relationship unattractive, you must get beyond the remorse to find the repentance you need.
If the husband and/or wife has been divorced, this problem is inevitably compounded, for the aftereffects of divorce are often more severe than the divorce itself. As the couple approaches marriage, one (or both) of them faces especially strong ties to the past that almost certainly will work their way into this brand-new relationship.
Let’s assume that Bill and Jane, both divorced, are planning to marry. Neither of them initiated their divorces, and, in fact, did all they could to save their marriages. Bill’s wife left him for a fitness trainer at their club. Jane’s husband came home one evening and announced that he was strongly attracted to his secretary and wanted to be “amicably” released from his marriage. What can Bill and Jane expect in their new relationship?
Sin causes misery. Even though Bill and Jane could do little to avoid their divorces, they and their children are forced to live with the consequences of their former spouses’ sin. From now on, there will be occasional friction with the children of the previous marriage, who are forced to commute between divorced parents.
When the children graduate or get married, those events will become major stress points as Bill and Jane attempt to celebrate with their kids in the shadow of new stepparents. If Bill and Jane have children of their own, there will be a natural rivalry between those children and the children of the ex-spouses. Whether or not Bill and Jane choose to dwell on the ties of the past, those once vital relationships will assert themselves at regular occasions.
Couples do not need to feel trapped by these old associations, but moving on with their lives will require an extraordinary measure of emotional fortitude and prayerful dependence on God. It will also be a great help if they cultivate the kind of sensitive openness that will allow them to acknowledge their emotional struggles to each other. With honesty and patience, they can lean on each other, and together rest in the promise of God’s provision and protection.
The above article comes from the book, Lasting Love Lasting Love: How to Avoid Marital Failure by Alistair Begg, published by Moody Press. In this book Pastor Begg teaches “the art of a lasting relationship. He calls each partner to bury self-interests and diligently tend the fire of his own her own home hearth.”
As Alistair says about this book, “This is an attempt at preventive medicine. It is written primarily for those who are contemplating marriage from the vantage point of singleness, who are in the early stages of married life, or who have enjoyed a number of years of marital bliss and are tempted to conclude that this kind of material is interesting but undoubtedly irrelevant. However, it may also prove helpful to those who are already dealing with the effects of decay… In a sense, this book is, unashamedly, ‘Marriage for Dummies.’ It is a refresher course on basics, and hopefully you will find it to be much more.”

A Little Boy At A Big Piano

Wishing to encourage her young son's progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door

marked "NO ADMITTANCE." When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing.

Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on
the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw
her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing."

Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left
hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child and he added a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice transformed a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was mesmerized.

That's the way it is in life. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't exactly graceful flowing music. But when we trust in the hands of a Greater Power, our life's work truly can be beautiful.

Next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You can hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing."

"You Will Suffer" by John Piper

Natural Addiction Recovery...

Interesting...

Addiction Recovery

We see patients in our practice on a daily basis that has been struggling for years with addiction issues. They have been in numerous rehab facilities, had years of counseling, faithfully attended recovery meetings and yet continue to relapse. This is devastating to the patient and their family. By addressing the biochemical imbalance contributing to the cravings and subsequent relapse we help our clients achieve longer periods of sobriety,  with little to no relapses.

Addictive drugs stimulate the same neural pathways that are involved in learning normal behaviors. The neurological sense of reward and the emotional sense of pleasure are also stimulated by addictive drugs. Drugs cause a much higher degree of neuronal pathway stimulation and neurotransmitter release. Due to this higher than normal level of neurotransmitter release, the strength of the behaviors learned and extent of neural adaptation associated with drug rewards are much stronger than those of normal biological rewards. This flood of neurotransmitters causes prolonged changes in the brain’s neurocircuitry responsible for sensing satisfaction and reward, and appears to play a key role in causing addiction.

 As frequency and /or intensity of drug use increases, the imprint of chemical connection occurs more rapidly. In fact, as illicit drugs users will attest, there is a euphoric response simply thinking about the drug of choice. This is caused by an imprinted recall of expected response which produces the neurotransmitters just as if the drug had been ingested. Euphoric recall often will produce a greater and more satisfying result than drug us itself, due to physical tolerance.

A consequence to prolonged drug use is an increase in the overall reward threshold which desensitizes the brain to rewards obtained from normal biological cues. This helps to explain why drug seeking behavior can take over a person’s life and can cause them to abandon their friends, family, and jobs, or engage in illegal behaviors to obtain the drug.

Emotionally, the addict is no longer able to feel the positive reinforcement or pleasurable feelings from natural rewards like food, water, or intimacy. They are only able to feel pleasure or perhaps, only feel normal if using the drug. This inability of someone who is drug-dependant to feel pleasure or outright depression emerges as part of the withdrawal syndrome. To avoid this, the user goes back to the drug.

Dopamine and Addiction

 It was once thought that alcohol and drugs cause neurotransmitter pathways to be fired rapidly, dumping large amounts of dopamine, epinephrine, GABA , acetylcholine, and serotonin into the brain, thus giving a  tremendous sensation of well- being, until the supply of neuronutrients and neuronutrition substrates is depleted. The result is a rush of pleasure.

    

The current research suggests that amphetamine and cocaine actually create new pools of dopamine. Food, sugar, chocolate, caffeine, nicotine, purging or exercise binges can also trigger the production of neurotransmitters. A characteristic of nearly all addictive drugs is their ability, directly or indirectly, to increase dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in pleasure and reward. Most simply, the development of addiction occurs upon increased dopamine signaling within the pleasure sensing nucleus accumbens by neuronal projections from the ventral tegmental area. As this pathway is reinforced through repeated drug exposures, the prefrontal cortex learns and eventually initiates the behaviors that led to the drug induced neurotransmitter release. Those sensitive to behavioral habituation to the point of dysfunction in areas like gambling, oral abuse , overeating, sex, pornography, thrill-seeking, violence,etc, are thought to have a similar reaction with endogenous neurotransmitters.

Drug Cravings and Glutamate

The desire to seek out drugs, or cravings, can persist for years after discontinuing the drug. They are especially strong during times of stress or when the individual is exposed to people, places, or things that were associated with or remind them of past drug use. This high potential for relapse is a significant obstacle in drug recovery programs. Stress and environmental cues are processed by neurons in the prefrontal cortex in the brain. This region does not use dopamine as a neurotransmitter, but instead uses glutamate. The prefrontal cortex has a primary role in risk assessment and decision-making that occurs prior to the manifestation of behavior. Through neuron projections to the core of the nucleus accumbens and the motor coordination circuits of the ventral palladium, the prefrontal cortex influences or determines choice.

Glutamate influences normal adaptive behaviors, or everyday living skills like walking, talking, getting dressed, going to school, driving to work, baking a meal, etc. Adaptive behaviors are skills a person learns in the process of adapting to his/her surroundings. A person’s behavior, good or bad, is determined by this interaction. Unfortunately, drugs significantly change a person’s perception of risk, reward, and social acceptance so a decision to buy drugs instead of groceries hardly seems to matter.         

           

1.The neural circuits of the ventral tegmental area (VTA), the nucleus accumbens, and the prefrontal cortex are critical in learning both natural and drug reward behavior. Upon exposure to either a naturally rewarding stimuli or a drug, there is a increase in dopamine signaling from the ventral tegmental area (VTA) to the nucleus accumbens. The nucleus accumbens “perceives” this dopamine signal and measures the “goodness” of the agent or the natural reward based on the size of the dopamine release. 2.Glutamate projections from the nucleus accumbens instruct the prefrontal cortex to remember the environment and behaviors which lead up to the occurrence of the “goodness”. 3. In addiction, excess signaling of glutamate neurons in the prefrontal cortex stimulate the nucleus accumbens, triggering drug seeking behaviors at the expense of naturally rewarding or good behaviors.

   

  

Amino Acids And Brain Neurotransmitters  

Just as family dynamics contribute to development of addictive behaviors, so does nutrition, particularly as it is involved in supplying precursors for neurotransmitters - chemicals which facilitate activity within the central nervous system such as tyrosine and tryptophan.

Amino acids are required to produce brain neurotransmitters and are found in both protein foods and carbohydrates. Tryptophan found in carbohydrate sources is better utilized by the brain better than that in protein sources producing more serotonin. Insulin production, which increases after eating carbohydrates, increases tryptophan absorption via the blood brain barrier. Also, other nutrients found in carbohydrates are required for all neuronal processing.

Homocysteine

Homocysteine (Hcy) is an intermediate in the transition of methionine to cystine. Without adequate vitamin B6, vitamin B12, and folate to convert Hcy to cysteine, Hcy builds up in the blood and even the brain. For those in recovery this buildup in the brain prevents healthy brain flow and “relaxing” neurotransmission. More profoundly, reports are correlating high levels of Homocysteine with acute withdrawal symptoms from alcohol. It is suspected and argued that continued elevated Hcy level may aggravate chronic post acute withdrawal symptoms to potentiate relapse. Nutrition treatment can reduce or resolve homocysteinemia. The nutrition treatment of homocysteinemia is found to reduce neural death, dementia, depression, neuropathy and aggressive behavior.

Glutamine

Glutamine is a conditionally essential amino acid necessary for energy, nitrogen transport, gut integrity and immune function and plays a role in chemical dependency. Excessive glutamate prevents the metabolism of glutamate to glutamine, decreasing serum levels of glutamine, which is now defined as “glutamine deficiency syndrome.” Glutamate stimulates withdrawal and craving but also lends to increased glutathione and high levels of Homocysteine, both risk factors for drug craving and relapse.

 Glutathione

Glutathione (GSH) is an antioxidant essential for cellular detoxification in the brain. Glutathione is related to neuronal cell death either in inadequate and/or excessive quantities and is related to neurodegenerative disease. Glutathione is a first line defense in the GI tract against drug, alcohol, and toxic substances.

 Eating vegetables and fruit are good food sources of glutathione. Low food sources of glutathione include potatoes, onions, garlic, spices, rice, and bread. These foods do not have much of a protective effect in the gut. Glutathione supplements taken by mouth are usually not effective

N-Acetyl-Cysteine (NAC)

It was shown that NAC reduced the rate of cocaine self-administration among laboratory rats previously allowed to self-administer cocaine in an experiment commonly used to evaluate drug relapse behavior.  Encouraged by these findings, studies utilized N-acetyl-cysteine-containing protocols in humans with cocaine addiction and reduced relapse rates were observed. The ability to reduce cravings with something as safe and well tolerated as an amino acid has generated significant excitement in the medical and scientific communities.  Thus, other models of addiction and compulsive behaviors have experimented with NAC and found benefit. For example, NAC administration has helped to reduce gambling among people with gambling addictions and also reduced hair pulling among patients with trichotillomania. A case report has also been published showing benefit for serotonin reuptake inhibitor- refractory Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). TheaNAC is a novel supplement which combines Theanine and NAC.

Supplemental Ingredient	Restored Brain Chemical	Addictive Substance Abuse	Amino Acid Deficiency Symptoms	Expected Behavior Change
D-Phenylalanine or DL-Phenylalanine	Enkephalins Endorphins	Heroin, Alcohol, Marijuana, Sweets, Starches, Chocolate, Tobacco	Most Reward Deficiency Syndrome (RDS) conditions sensitive to physical or emotional pain. Crave comfort and pleasure. Desire certain food or drugs.	Reward stimulation. Anti-craving. Mild anti-depression. Mild improved energy and focus. D-Phenylalanine promotes pain relief, increases pleasure.
L-Phenylalanine or L-Tyrosine	Norepinephrine Dopamine	Caffeine, Speed, Cocaine, Marijuana, Aspartame, Chocolate, Alcohol, Tobacco, Sweets, Starches	Most Reward Deficiency Syndrome (RDS) conditions. Depression, low energy. Lack of focus and concentration. Attention-deficit disorder.	Reward stimulation. Anti-craving. Anti-depression. Increased energy. Improved mental focus.
L-Tryptophan or 5 hydroxytryptophan (5HTP)	Serotonin	Sweets, Alcohol, Starch, Ecstasy, Marijuana, Chocolate, Tobacco	Low self-esteem. Obsessive/compulsive behaviors. Irritability or rage. Sleep problems. Afternoon or evening cravings. Negativity. Heat intolerance. Fibromyalgia, SAD (winter blues).	Anti-craving. Anti-depression. Anti-insomnia. Improved appetite control. Improvement in all mood and other serotonin deficiency symptoms.
GABA (Gamma-amino butyric acid)	GABA	Valium, Xanax,, Ativan, Klonopin, Alcohol, Marijuana, Tobacco, Sweets, Starches	Feeling of being stressed-out. Nervous. Tense muscles. Trouble relaxing.	Promotes calmness. Promotes relaxation.
L-Glutamine	GABA (mild enhancement) Fuel source for entire brain	Sweets, Starches, Alcohol	Stress. Mood swings. Hypoglycemia.	Anti-craving, anti-stress. Levels blood sugar and mood. GABA (mild enhancement). Fuel source for entire brain.

FOR PARENTS: Becoming An In-Law

What would you do if your adult child had a marital problem and shared his heart? How would you get involved—if at all? Betsy [after her son Jake had shared some serious problems that he was having with his wife] wanted to take Jake in her arms and tell him that everything was going to be all right. She wanted to kiss his knee, like she did when he was eight, and assure him that the pain would go away.
But he wasn’t eight anymore and this pain wasn’t a skinned knee. She knew that she couldn’t solve his marital problems, but she did have a perspective she decided to share with him.

“Jake, I appreciate your telling me this. I know it is serious and is causing you a lot of pain. I also know that in the first year of marriage, many couples have similar problems. Those who make it deal with their problems in a realistic way. The couples who don’t make it are the ones who sweep their problems under the rug, trying to act as if they don’t exist. In reality, the problems just get larger.
“Sharing this with me is a first step. Now I want to encourage you to take a second. I’m not the one to give you marriage counseling, but that’s what you and Jenny need. There is a counselor on our church staff; and I also know two good ones downtown. If money is a problem, Dad and I will be willing to take care of the expense. The important thing is that both of you talk to someone with skills in helping couples work through such difficulties. Don’t let it go on or it will just get worse.”

Jake replied, “I don’t know if she will go for counseling. She would be horrified if she knew I was talking to you about this.”
“Then perhaps you can tell her that you are going for counseling because you must have some help in dealing with your own struggle,” his mother answered, “and that you would like her to go with you. She may go because she wants the counselor to hear her side of the story. But, if she doesn’t, you go alone. At least you will get the process started and she may join you later. Your problem isn’t going to go away by itself, and you need someone to help you work through it.”
Jake agreed, and when he drove home, he felt better than when he came. At least he knew the first step to take.
Jenny was reluctant, but she did go with Jake to the counselor, and in the months that followed they both learned a great deal about how to meet each other’s needs and build an authentic marriage. During the counseling he realized he was failing to meet Jenny’s emotional need for love. She desired quality time with him, but his job was so demanding that she often spent her evenings alone. She had finally decided that she might as well be with her mother as to stay home by herself.
During months of counseling, they came to understand each other better and made some significant changes. Jenny began to respond differently to her parents’ requests, particularly when she and Jake had already made plans. Jake learned how to meet Jenny’s need for love and to make more time for her. They have now been married five years and have a mutually fulfilling relationship.
A NEW TITLE, A NEW RELATIONSHIP: When your child marries, the relationship you have had is bound to change, as you move to embrace his or her spouse. These extended connections can bring you great happiness, or they can rain on your parade. The outcome is partly determined by your response to them.
After your child decides to marry, you acquire a new title: in-law. Not only do you have a son- or daughter-in-law who directly influences your child, but you also become related to people who will indirectly influence your adult child as they continue to influence their own married child. In addition, you may soon have another title: grandparent, and you will share your grandchildren with your son- or daughter-in-law’s parents. And, if your son or daughter chooses to marry someone who already has children, you become instant grandparents.
BETSY’S WISE ADVICE: Thus your response to these new relationships can bring you happiness or heartache, joy or jealousy. Jake’s mother was extremely wise in her responses to Jake’s complaint about Jenny. In her counsel we can find several positive principles on how we parents can respond to the marital difficulties experienced by many young adults.
First, she took the problem seriously. She didn’t brush it off by saying, “Oh, it can’t be that bad. You’re just overreacting. Take her out to dinner and she’ll be all right.” She didn’t say, “Why don’t you just talk to Jenny about this? I’m sure if she realized what you’re feeling, she would change.” Nor did she suggest, “Just give her some time and be patient. I’m sure it will all work out.” The fact is that marital problems don’t “just work out.” Our high divorce statistics are stark reminders that problems unattended get worse. As concerned parents, we should respond to signs of marital problems.
Second, she didn’t take sides. You can become involved without saying one spouse (usually your child) is right and the other is wrong. You don’t have all the facts, and to take sides could alienate the other spouse. Note that Betsy didn’t tell Jake that it was his fault, nor did she blame Jenny. Instead, she remained neutral. Seldom can the responsibility for marital conflict be laid at the feet of one partner; generally, both husband and wife have done and said things to compound the problem. Both need insight into the dynamics of their relationship and then need to learn to take corrective steps in creating a different climate in which their conflicts can be resolved. When parents take sides, they only add to the problems.
Third, she waited until Jake come to her for advice. As a parent, don’t offer advice until you’re asked. Be willing to give counsel, but wait until such counsel is requested. Betsy might have rushed in with suggestions after she first sensed something was wrong. However, had she offered advice then, Jake might have become defensive and then not turned to her later for help. The best guideline is to wait until your married children ask for help. At that point, they are more likely to follow your suggestions.
Fourth, she offered a course of action that was specific and doable. As parents, we can give recommendations, but we should be specific. Depending on the situation, you may recommend professional counseling, seeing a financial planner, or setting up a budget. Betsy recommended counseling; she also removed the possible hurdle of finances by offering to help. While she didn’t force Jake to take action, she told him why she believed it would be wise.
Significantly, Betsy talked with her husband about her conversation with Jake. The two determined that their relationship with the young couple would continue just as it had been. No questions, no blame, no changed attitudes toward Jenny or her parents. Wise parents do not seek to solve the problems of their married children. They are there to make loving suggestions if these are asked for, but they don’t impose themselves on their children’s lives. They give their children space to build their own lives. They allow them the freedom to say no to invitations or requests that conflict with their plans or wishes. They relate to their children in ways that will foster their growth as individuals and as a couple.
As a parent and an in-law, your goal should be to support your child and his or her mate. Welcome your son- or daughter-in-law into the family with open arms. when asked, give advice. You’ll always remain a parent; become a friend.

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The above article can be found in an expanded version in the book, Parenting Your Adult Child: How You Can Help Them Achieve Their Full Potential by Dr Ross Campbell and Dr Gary Chapman, published by Northfield Publishing. This book helps parents of grown children today face issues unforeseen by previous generations: “nests” that don’t empty, conflicts over lifestyle issues, the need for continued financial support. This can be an invaluable resource for parents of young adults ages 18 to 35, as well as those with older adult children and even grandchildren.

Acceptance is the first step to change

There comes a time in life where there is nothing more you can do. You may not have always done the right things but in certain situations you have come to an end. You need to let matters go and just accept that it is done. Accepting is the only attitude we have that allows us to move forward. You are not responsible for others actions - only your own.

 It is good for you to care what others think but when it comes to someone who can care less about you then what does it matter what they think? Too much time and thought is spent on matters that don't matter. Keep your nose to the ground and focus on yourself and those closest to you - that is our responsibility. Nobody else is going to "make it" for you but you and people will always let you down - never become dependant upon another person or persons. If you are dependant upon another person you are in your own personal prison.

Find yourself and be yourself - not what you think others want you to be but who you are. You will never please everyone and everyone is not going to like you - so what. We are all different and have taken different roads in life. Stop blaming other people. Take the blame yourself - you are where your at right now because of the choices you have made. Remember, acceptance is the first step to change.