The fire that burns... by Maribeth Jordan

It is a shame to see some people wrapped up in bitterness and resentment. You can typically see these emotions on ones face and if not, it will soon appear. These emotions are like acid... slowly eating away at your body, mind and soul. Many emotions and illnesses stem from bitterness and resentment. Depression, anxiety, anger/hostility, drug/alcohol addiction, etc... IBS, high blood pressure, migraine headaches, flare ups of many viruses and several cancers.

Why do people create this living hell for themselves? I believe it is an inability to let go and accept. I also believe it is a form of control (or lack of control in the mind). You cannot be bitter and grow spiritually, emotionally or mentally. If you are one suffering from these feelings I would ask you what exactly are you wanting? Can you change that? Many situations cannot be changed because either the offender has passed away or hurt another person so badly they suffer scars either physically or emotionally. If a situation cannot be changed you still can be cut free from these entangling feelings by accepting your situation.

If a person has passed that you are bitter with I recommend you visiting the grave site.... simply have your time to talk without interruption. If the person is alive and you simply cannot face that person then ask yourself if it is worth stewing over if he/she is not in your life... if they are a part of your life/family and he/she is unavoidable and you are the one who holds the bitterness and resentment then you my friend have to pick yourself up by your boot straps and face the giant... whether it's your fault or not. The only way to put a fire out is to address it or it will burn until it' finished and die out - a slow death.

To address a situation that you feel is not your fault is not weak as many may think - it is in fact the strong one who approaches. To be bitter and full of resentment is allowing another person and or a situation to control your mind... you are simply giving your power and strength away.

There is NO situation worth these emotions - NONE, whether it be murder, rape, divorce, etc... Yield to the attitudes we are commanded to have. Love, kindness, patience towards one another. We are to forgive 70x7 and that simply means there is no limit. Think of it this way, if someone has hurt you so badly how sad for that person that they had to be this way... you can NOT be a happy person and hurt another no matter what. To hurt another person is selfish and selfishness is simply fear. Remember hurt people hurt people... it is as simple as that. Stop hurting yourself and forgive that person who hurt you simply because we are commanded to do so and because we are forgiven of all of our sins - great and small. Letting go is not forgetting, it is freeing yourself to blossom into the beautiful flower.. and beautiful flowers bring joy to others!

Just when you think your problems are big.... by Maribeth Jordan

I had a customer come into my store last Sunday looking for a supplement to help his wife's hot flashes. As I walked him to the location of where they were he proceeded to tell me his wife has stage 4 breast cancer so he didn't want the supplement to aggravate that any further. I noticed he was very distraught (understandably so) and found him something that would work naturally for her without aggravating the estrogen levels and the cancer. He got a phone call while looking at the item so I left him alone and continued on with my work. After a few minutes past I heard his voice thanking me from down the aisle and heading towards the door. I asked him if the supplement I choose for him would work and he said his wife wanted to check with her doctor because she was afraid to take anything at this point. I asked how she was doing and my customer said "Vicki is not doing so well, after removing 18 lymph nodes and chemotherapy the cancer has come back and at this point there is nothing left anyone can do". He started to cry....

He then proceeded to tell me right before her diagnoses he lost his job and they did not have health insurance so this cancer has done more damage financially, emotionally and mentally then he could ever imagine.... the bank wants their house back. I asked for his name since he told me his wife's name... Robert, he said. Robert told me he has been married to Vicki for 30 years and that she was his best friend. He told me in 30 years he had never lied to her and when the sheriffs dept came to his house to serve him his eviction papers from the bank he didn't have the heart to tell her why. Vicki asked why the sheriffs dept was at their house and he told her it was for a neighborhood watch.... he told me that lie is eating him up inside and he just couldn't tell her they are losing their home while she is dying.

Robert said he could care less about the house, it was Vicki he was concerned with... he said, "I don't know what I'm going to do without her". As tears continued to fall from his eyes I felt his pain, fear, and isolation... he continues to tell me his mother died two months earlier and his father nine months earlier from that. This man has lost two parents and is in the process of losing his wife and home all in one year - ugghhhh.

After talking for a while longer I asked Robert to come back soon and let me know how things are. I told him I would (and am still doing) pray for both of them. After he left I was so overwhelmed with emotion I stepped off the floor to "breath".

I have heard all sorts of "problems" from my customers about this holiday season...I myself have complained about some things, but after listening to Robert it makes all of life's trivial matters worthless. There is always someone else with much worse circumstances. We must be thankful for what we have and give to those who don't have... that being time or resources. Let's face it, we will all cross the bridge of "circumstances". Many of us are on that bridge and many will never make it across. Start building a solid bridge now so that when your time comes the foundation on which you stand will be firm.

All the money in the world couldn't save Steve Jobs and it won't save Vicki... The trials we face may differ but because they are personal to each one of us they are painful and you cannot buy strength or peace... just remember they are a gift from the Lord - but only for those who know Him. The verse I gave Robert was Romans 8:28. You may think your strong now but just want until the storm hits - will you be ready?

Please pray for this couple - Robert and Vicki

Stone Soup

Many years ago three soldiers, hungry and weary of battle, came upon a small village. The villagers, suffering a meager harvest and the many years of war, quickly hid what little they had to eat and met the three at the village square, wringing their hands and bemoaning the lack of anything to eat.

The soldiers spoke quietly among themselves and the first soldier then turned to the village elders. "Your tired fields have left you nothing to share, so we will share what little we have: the secret of how to make soup from stones."

Naturally the villagers were intrigued and soon a fire was put to the town's greatest kettle as the soldiers dropped in three smooth stones. "Now this will be a fine soup", said the second soldier; "but a pinch of salt and some parsley would make it wonderful!" Up jumped a villager, crying "What luck! I've just remembered where some's been left!" And off she ran, returning with an apronful of parsley and a turnip. As the kettle boiled on, the memory of the village improved: soon barley, carrots, beef and cream had found their way into the great pot, and a cask of wine was rolled into the square as all sat down to feast.

They ate and danced and sang well into the night, refreshed by the feast and their new-found friends. In the morning the three soldiers awoke to find the entire village standing before them. At their feet lay a satchel of the village's best breads and cheese. "You have given us the greatest of gifts: the secret of how to make soup from stones", said an elder, "and we shall never forget." The third soldier turned to the crowd, and said: "There is no secret, but this is certain: it is only by sharing that we may make a feast". And off the soldiers wandered, down the road.

Memories Of The Mississippi by Deborah Rogers

After Mom died, Dad and I took a trip together every summer. Just the two of us, father and daughter. This was especially meaningful because Dad was aging and we lived two thousand miles apart - so a week with Dad, undistracted from other family members or from work was a treat.

Our first destination was a cruise up the Mississippi. We boarded the steamboat in St. Louis and noticed that we were some of the youngest people on the cruise! Even Dad, at 73 looked young! We sat in rocking chairs on the deck, the warm breeze blowing on our faces, admiring the lush green trees lining the mighty river. A jazz band played in the background.

On the deck we met John, who met the love of his life at a singles dance for senior citizens and asked her to marry him two weeks later. It’s John’s first marriage at sixty-five. Then there was Jane, a teacher from Little Rock, Arkansas who danced with Bill Clinton decades ago at a school fundraiser. Sometimes on the deck Dad and I sat quietly, reading.

At lunchtime we stood in line for the buffet. People asked if Dad was my brother! Amazing for our thirty-eight-year age difference! Dad filled his plate with bread, meats, and cheeses to make a sandwich. The most important ingredient to any sandwich was mayonnaise. Dad loved mayonnaise! Anything else between two pieces of bread was extra fillings.

After lunch we docked at Alton, Missouri. This small town was home to dozens and dozens of antique shops. Dad, with little interest in shopping or antiques (although he’s almost an antique himself) walked in and out of shop after shop. We walked up the hill, down the hill, and through the old town. We walked all day. It was the longest time I ever spent shopping with Dad. He was a good sport to come along, simply to spend time with me.

Each day blended together like the last, until seven days passed. On the seventh day we reached Minnesota, the top of the Mississippi, and my home, Minneapolis. Dad saw my house for the first time and met my two cats, Coconut and Coffee Bean. Coconut sat on his lap and purred. The two became quick friends.

This was the first of many trips we planned together, but unfortunately, it would be our last. Dad died a few months later from being hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street in his home town of Sacramento California. What made this trip special was our time together, the two of us. I had grown from the teenager embarrassed to be with Dad to the adult cherishing our time together. I'll always treasure these memories of my father, and be proud of who I have become.

The Pretty One by Roger Dean Kiser

It had been a very long night. Our black cocker spaniel 'Precious' was having a difficult delivery. I lay on the floor beside her large four-foot square cage, watching her every movement. Watching and waiting, just in case I had to rush her to the veterinarian.

After six hours the puppies started to appear. The first-born was black and white. The second and third puppies were tan and brown in color. The fourth and fifth were also spotted black and white. "One, two, three, four, five," I counted to myself as I walked down the hallway to wake my wife, Judy, and tell her that everything was fine.

As we walked back down the hallway and into the spare bedroom, I noticed a sixth puppy had been born and was now laying all by itself over to the side of the cage. I picked up the small puppy and laid it on top of the large pile of puppies, who were whining and trying to nurse on the mother. Precious immediately pushed the small puppy away from rest of the group. She refused to recognize it as a member of her family.

"Something's wrong," said Judy.

I reached over and picked up the puppy. My heart sank inside my chest when I saw the little puppy had a cleft lip and palate and could not close its little mouth. I decided right there and then that if there was any way to save this animal I was going to give it my best shot.

I took the puppy to the vet and was told nothing could be done unless we were willing to spend about a thousand dollars to try and correct the defect. He told us that the puppy would die mainly because it could not suckle. After returning home, Judy and I decided that we could not afford to spend that kind of money without getting some type of assurance from the vet that the puppy had a chance to live. However, that did not stop me from purchasing a syringe and feeding the puppy by hand. Which I did every day and night, every two hours, for more than ten days. The little puppy survived and learned to eat on his own as long as it was soft canned food.

The fifth week I placed an ad in the newspaper, and within a week we had people interested in all of the pups, except the one with the deformity. Late one afternoon I went to the store to pick up a few groceries. Upon returning I happened to see the old retired schoolteacher, who lived across the street from us, waving at me. She had read in the paper that we had puppies and was wondering if she might get one from us for her grandson and his family. I told her all the puppies had found homes, but I would keep my eyes open for anyone else who might have an available cocker spaniel. I also mentioned that if someone should change their mind, I would let her know. Within days, all but one of the puppies had been picked up by their new families. This left me with one brown and tan cocker as well as the smaller puppy with the cleft lip and palate.

Two days passed without me hearing anything from the gentleman who had been promised the tan and brown pup. I telephoned the schoolteacher and told her I had one puppy left and that she was welcome to come and look at it. She advised me that she was going to pick up her grandson and would come over at about eight o'clock that evening.

That night at around seven-thirty, Judy and I were eating supper when we heard a knock on the front door. When I opened the door, the man who had wanted the tan and brown pup was standing there. We walked inside, took care of the adoption details and I handed him the puppy. Judy and I did not know what we would do or say when the teacher showed up with her grandson. At exactly eight o'clock the doorbell rang. I opened the door, and there was the schoolteacher with her grandson standing behind her. I explained to her the man had come for the puppy after all, and there were no puppies left. "I'm sorry, Jeffery. They found homes for all the puppies," she told her grandson.

Just at that moment, the small puppy left in the bedroom began to yelp.

"My puppy! My puppy!" yelled the little boy as he ran out from behind his grandmother.

I just about fell over when I saw that the small child also had a cleft lip and palate. The boy ran past me as fast as he could, down the hallway to where the puppy was still yelping. When the three of us made it to the bedroom, the small boy was holding the puppy in his arms. He looked up at his grandmother and said, "Look, Grandma. They found homes for all the puppies except the pretty one, and he looks just like me.”

The schoolteacher turned to us, "Is this puppy available?"

“Yes,” I answered. “That puppy is available.”

The little boy, who was now hugging the puppy, chimed in, "My grandma told me these kind of puppies are real expensive and that I have to take real good care of it."

The lady opened her purse, but I reached over and pushed her hand back down into her purse so that she would not pull her wallet out. "How much do you think this puppy is worth?" I asked the boy. "About a dollar?" "No. This puppy is very, very expensive," he replied.

"More than a dollar?" I asked.

"I'm afraid so," said his grandmother.

The boy stood there pressing the small puppy against his cheek. "We could not possibly take less than two dollars for this puppy," Judy said, squeezing my hand. "Like you said, it's the pretty one."

The schoolteacher took out two dollars and handed it to the young boy.

"It's your dog now, Jeffery. You pay the man."

Still holding the puppy tightly, the boy proudly handed me the money. Any worries I’d had about the puppy’s future were gone.

The image of the little boy and his matching pup stays with me still. I think it must be a wonderful feeling for any young person to look at themselves in the mirror and see nothing, except "the pretty one."

Living With a Passive-Aggressive Man.... Dr. David B. Hawkins

The passive-aggressive man is a confusion creator, and if you remain “hooked,” you will spin around in that cycle of confusion as well. He remembers things different from you and if you try to get him to see “the truth,” you’ll be hooked in his world of confusion. He twists the facts, rewrites history to put a positive spin on his behavior. This, however, makes you feel crazy. So, how are you going to stay clear, calm and connected with a passive-aggressive man? It will not be easy, but it can be done. You must master a few strategies.

First, understand passive-aggression. You cannot remain clear and calm if you don’t understand what is happening. If you remain reactive, you’ll be dancing from one encounter to another. Notice what is happening. When and where do you get hooked? What does he say that provokes you into snapping back aggressively? Notice these patterns and determine to remain clear about what is happening.
Second, determine to be active, not reactive. Choose how you will respond to him. In the face of his passive-aggressive actions, choose to be clear with him. Let him know how you see things. Refuse to get into a power struggle with him. Don’t try to change his mind or make him see things the way you see them. Be in charge of yourself, knowing what is true for you.
Third, keep agreements simple and doable. Create agreements that are likely to be kept by him. Choose your battles carefully. It is far better to have a simple life, with simple agreements, than try to enforce complex agreements that he will sabotage.
Fourth, maintain clear and firm boundaries. Don’t allow him to manipulate your point of view. Seek specific agreements, even writing them down for clarity. Reiterate those agreements with him to ensure clarity. When he violates boundaries, which he will do, state your feelings clearly and consistently.
Finally, celebrate modest victories. Understand you cannot make him do anything. However, you can introduce accountability into the relationship. Clarify how his behavior impacts you, asking for exactly what you need. Notice how even small victories create a positive connection with him.

They're Singing Your Song

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows
she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness
with a few friends and together they pray and
meditate until they hear the song of the child.
They recognize that every soul has its own vibration
that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When
the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. 
Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone
else.

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child's song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child's song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come
together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song.

Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.

To the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community
form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.

The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn't. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well.

You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you'll find your way home.

The Passive-Aggressive Spouse

Are you dealing with a Passive Aggressive spouse? If you are, you’re probably pretty desperate to find help in dealing with this issue, because it’s one that is certainly perplexing, to say the very least!
It’s difficult to deal with someone who seems to have such a slippery way of doing things. He or she can appear to be passive, but then does things that contradict that stance.

“The passive aggressive will say one thing, do another, and then deny ever saying the first thing. They don’t communicate their needs and wishes in a clear manner, expecting their spouse to read their mind and meet their needs. After all, if their spouse truly loved them he/she would just naturally know what they needed or wanted. The passive aggressive withholds information about how he/she feels; their ego is fragile and can’t take the slightest criticism. So why would they let you know what they are thinking or feeling?” (Cathy Meyer, from article “Passive Aggressive Behavior, a Form of Covert Abuse“)

Does this sound familiar? Most likely, if you’ve dealt with someone who is passive aggressive… and it’s frustrating.
How exactly is the term, passive aggressive defined?

“Passive-aggressive: Pertaining to behavior in which feelings of aggression are expressed in passive ways as, for example, by stubbornness, sullenness, procrastination, or intentional inefficiency” (from Medicine.net)

Medline Plus gives this insight:

“Some common symptoms of passive-aggressive personality disorder include:

• Acting sullen
• Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
• Being inefficient on purpose
• Blaming others
• Complaining
• Feeling resentment
• Having a fear of authority
• Having unexpressed anger or hostility
• Procrastinating
• Resisting other people’s suggestions.

“A person with this disorder may appear to comply with another’s wishes and may even demonstrate enthusiasm for those wishes. However, they:

• Perform the requested action too late to be helpful
• Perform it in a way that is useless
• Sabotage the action to show anger that they cannot express in words.”

Cathy Meyer gives even further insight:

“Passive aggressive behavior stems from an inability to express anger in a healthy way. A person’s feelings may be so repressed that they don’t even realize they are angry or feeling resentment. A passive aggressive can drive people around him/her crazy and seem sincerely dismayed when confronted with their behavior. Due to their own lack of insight into their feelings the passive aggressive often feels that others misunderstand them or, are holding them to unreasonable standards if they are confronted about their behavior.”
“…If you confront the passive aggressive he/she will most likely sulk, give you the silent treatment or completely walk away leaving you standing there to deal with the problem alone. There are two reasons for confronting the passive aggressive. One, if done correctly you may be able to help him/her gain insight into the negative consequences of their behaviors. Two, even if that doesn’t happen, it will at least give you the opportunity to talk to him/her in a frank way about how his/her behavior affects you. If nothing else you can get a few things ‘off your chest.’” (from article “Passive Aggressive Behavior, a Form of Covert Abuse“).

In the above mentioned article, Cathy Meyer then goes on to give “some ways you might approach your passive aggressive.” You may find it helpful to read the entire article, including ways to approach your spouse, but I want to give you a “heads up” because for some reason, the About.com web site, for some reason, put it in the “Divorce Support” section —which is not something we’re trying to encourage —supporting divorcing your passive-agreesive, but rather dealing with it in the best way possible with the Lord’s help.
Still, the article is a good one, so we encourage you to read it by clicking onto:

• ”PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR, a Form of Covert Abuse“

Here are a few other things you might find helpful to read, concerning this type of behavior (and click onto the links after the quotes to learn more):

“Passive-Aggressive people don’t usually like the aggressive posture over any issue; they’ll rather say ‘Yes’ when they already know what they are going to do. The yes is to get their aggressive spouse out of their face. Rather than speak up their concern on an issue they keep quite but their displeasure is displayed in their behavior, he/she might walk around the house banging the door after them, react to their spouse with short sentences, or act to sabotage their spouse to get even or get back at them. You never really know what’s on their mind, when they say yes, as a spouse you watch if that yes is really yes or yes – get out of my face or yes – I already know what I want to do.” (from the Christiancouples.org” article, “Home Improvement Series XXXVIII – Wired Uniquely?“)

From the Couples Institute, Peter Pearson, Ph.D writes:

“Passive-aggressive people are typically hypersensitive to actual or perceived criticism. Especially when they don’t follow through with promises. Here’s the kicker. They have great gobs of good reasons for not following through with crucial agreements.” (Does Your Partner Drive You Nuts? …The Passive Aggressive Personality)

As a spouse, you are “doomed” if you get angry and “doomed” if you say nothing. “Welcome to the crazy world of the passive aggressive partner” says Dr Peter Pearson, who claims to battle with this disorder himself. He writes:

“The passive aggressive person generally feels they are under assault and no matter what they do, they cannot please their partner. …The other partner believes they cannot depend on the passive aggressive mate to reliably follow through. Even if I am 80% reliable, as I would sometimes point out to [wife] Ellyn, she has no idea what the 80% will be or when it will be completed. This screws up the logistical part of being an effective team which supports being an effective couple.”
“So what causes this aggravating problem that painfully affects both partners in different ways? Most passive aggressive folks have two things in common:
1. “A highly critical parent or parents, resulting in a highsensitivity to being judged on performance.
2. “A lot of painful disappointments in life. This results in a reflexive coping mechanism that severely restricts their hopes and desires in life. Minimizing desires is a subconscious attempt to avoid getting hopes up and then dashed which triggers a warehouse of painful disappointments stored in the emotional brain.”(Does Your Partner Drive You Nuts? …The Passive Aggressive Personality, by Peter Pearson, Ph.D, Sep 15, 2005)

Deborah Ward offers this insight as well:

“Certain situations will tend to activate passive-aggressive behaviour, including circumstances in which the person’s performance will be judged, or he thinks it will, says therapist Jay Earley, Ph.D., such as in the workplace. Similarly, any situation where the passive-aggressor has to deal with authority figures, such as bosses, parents, teachers, community leaders and even spouses, will often trigger an indirectly angry approach.
“…Passive-Aggressive personality disorder develops as a result of a combination of genetics and environment, says Earley. Essentially, this person feels that aggression is not allowed and to survive, he has to express his anger indirectly and defeat others in the only way he feels he can.” (from Suite101.com article, “Causes of Passive Aggression“)

There are other reasons, you can be sure. But whatever the reason, or excuse, how can you deal with it:
If you are a passive-aggressive spouse, therapist Jay Earley, Ph.D., offers these further suggestions for creating a healthier attitude:

• “Become aware of the underlying anger and resentment that is causing your behaviour.
• Become aware of your desire to defeat others, get back at them or annoy them.
• Become aware of your need to fail in order to get back at others.
• Work on allowing yourself to be just who you are, or feeling that you are okay as you are, that your sense of worth doesn’t depend on other people’s opinions
• Work on expressing your anger and standing up for yourself.” (from Suite101.com article, “Healing and Dealing with Passive-Aggression“)

If you’re dealing with a husband who inflicts this behavior upon you and your marriage:

“How are you going to stay clear, calm and connected with a passive-aggressive man? It will not be easy, but it can be done. You must master a few strategies.
“First, understand passive-aggression. You cannot remain clear and calm if you don’t understand what is happening. If you remain reactive, you’ll be dancing from one encounter to another. Notice what is happening. When and where do you get hooked? What does he say that provokes you into snapping back aggressively? Notice these patterns and determine to remain clear about what is happening.
“Second, determine to be active, not reactive…”

And the list and explanations go on. To learn more on this behavior and some strategies” to help you live with your passive-aggressive spouse, please click onto the Crosswalk.com article, written by Dr. David B Hawkins, to read:

• LIVING WITH A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE MAN

“How do women love passive-aggressive husbands?”

That’s the question that’s addressed in this next article. Here’s what the author wrote:

1.   “First, understand passive-aggression. You cannot remain clear and calm if you don’t understand what is happening. If you remain reactive, you’ll be dancing from one encounter to another. Notice what is happening. What does he say that provokes you into snapping back aggressively? Notice these patterns and determine to remain clear about what is happening.”

And then the list goes on to make 11 additional points to help wives who are living with a passive aggressive husband. Many of these points can be applied to husbands living with a passive aggressive wife, as well.

For more, please click onto the following link to read:

• HOW TO LOVE A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE HUSBAND

We realize this article is not exhaustive in the information it gives, but hopefully, it gives you some insights. If you are dealing with a passive aggressive spouse, keep asking the Holy Spirit to guide you to healthy information that will work for you in dealing with this marital issue. And then keep on the look-out, for what He brings your way.

May the Lord help you, as you put your hand into His for guidance.

This article was written by Cindy Wright

Bring me flowers

I would rather have one small rose
From the garden of a friend
Than to have the choicest flowers
When my stay on Earth must end.

I would rather have one pleasant word
In kindness said to me
Than flattery when my heart is still
And my life on Earth has ceased to be.

I would rather have a loving smile
From friends I know are true
Than tears shed round my casket
When this world I've bid Adieu.

Bring me all your flowers today
Whether pink, white or red:
I'd rather have one blossom now
Than a truckload when I'm dead.

9/11 ~ why never forget? by Maribeth Jordan

10 years later and some say why do we need to remember? Sure it is a painful memory that stirs many negative emotions but with pain and sorrow comes new life. Look at it this way...

A mother goes through pain to give new life.
 Jesus died so that we may have eternal (new) life.
With every death a memory is born and forever lives in our hearts.
Trees and plants give seeds of life each season until death... those seeds grow into trees/plants that continue the beauty life cycle.  With every year that passes we continue to plant our own "seeds" in this world by who we are and the way we live... we pass it on to our children, grandchildren and the cycle continues. I like to call them seeds of character, love, hate, compassion, etc... whatever it is you plant most so will that grow.

We as a nation bonded that day and stood as one. We cried over the hurt and lost, and mourned over the deceased. A national tragedy that nobody saw coming or did we? That tragedy changed us in many ways... tighter security, personal and financial loss, fear, rage, forgiveness, compassion, love, etc... to experience any emotion on a high level changes us to some degree. Regardless of the circumstance we were created with the capacity to remember for the sole purpose of growth.

We remember because we honor... that was someones father, mother, brother, wife, husband, child, friend, sister or brother. Their lives were taken selfishly derived from hatred and we know that people who hate are people who fear. But we must make their death about sacrifice for a greater united front - together we stand... there is strength in numbers. We must remember the ones who died in this terrible event left behind much. They will forever become a part of history that changed a nation. What this day signifies is love... life is short, say goodbye, forgive and share your time with someone who needs it. You never know what a day will bring so for all who died September 11, 2001 you are my hero's for teaching me a lesson on love. A strong reminder from the bible..

1 Corinthians 13

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Never forget....

The Thirty Second Quiz

Don't bother getting a pen and paper... just read... if you can't
answer them, just keep going.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

5. Name the last five Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They're the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Now here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. Name three teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worth while.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson?

The people who make a difference in your life aren't the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They're the ones who care.


(Wishing you a BEAUTIFUL day!)

An Hour With Charlie... by Maribeth Jordan

I printed this story last year... thought it was worth a re-print.

What do I think you should do today? Something different from your usual daily routine - it gets your blood pumping, mind thinking, and that's when life changes.

I tried that yesterday when I decided to take my kids to the lake (we never go to the lake). While there, I found a swing bench to sit and watch my kids from a far all the while admiring the beautiful lake, trees and flowers that were all so present around me. This is where I met a man who I will call "Charlie."

Charlie is an elderly man, walks with a cane and talks with a friendly, soft tone. "May I sit and swing with you?" he asks. Of course I replied with a friendly yes. I noticed Charlie seemed tired, he also seemed winded. I asked him if everything was ok. Charlie said everything was just fine now. Not knowing what he meant I continued a conversation with him about life, family and travels. Charlie had the most beautiful wife although he never really recognized it up until a year before she died. Charlie had two children who had both passed away in a car accident. He is a candid man who loved life and the people in it. As I was listening to all the stories; good, bad, funny and sad I couldn't help wondering what it must be like for him to have suffered such loss and still manage a sincere smile with a hearty laugh.

When it was time for Charlie to leave I asked if he comes here often and if I would ever see him again. Charlie replied no, he doesn't come to the lake often. This is where he used to come and sit with his wife about a year before she died. They grew closer than ever just sitting here, looking out over the lake and having some of the best conversations - something he never seemed to make time for in the earlier years. He stated he wanted to have one last memory of her here on earth because he would be seeing her soon. "What do you mean?" I said with a knot in my throat. "I'm dying, and soon," he said. Charlie didn't want to see me upset or feel sorry for him. "It's all part of life," he said. "Dying is something we will all do and that is one thing we all have in common." Charlie proceeded to tell me since his children and wife had passed that death didn't scare him, he actually looked forward to it and the day he would see them again. Charlie proceeded to tell me that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. He also said life is too short to waste and that God gave us five senses to make wise use of.. SEE the beauty and recognize it; HEAR the music and glorify in it, TASTE and appreciate the sweetness, TOUCH and feel the warmth and love, SMELL the flowers because it's a scent from God.

I hugged Charlie and thanked him for his time. "Time is the greatest gift we can give someone, and it's free." he said

In that short amount of time I changed a bit. On my way home I took notice of the blue sky, the smell of the freshly cut lawns and the icecream parlor on the side of the road. "Who wants icecream?" I asked, as if I really needed to! Watching the kids drip icecream courtesy of the hot sun was a pleasure.. I used to get annoyed by the mess but now I was just happy to be there "seeing" it. Thank you Charlie...

Rise and Hope: When God Says “No” . . . Pray

Rise and Hope: When God Says “No” . . . Pray: "When nobody is around and when we're able to be absolutely honest with ourselves before God, we entertain certain dreams and hopes. We want ..."

When God Says “No” . . . Pray

When nobody is around and when we're able to be absolutely honest with ourselves before God, we entertain certain dreams and hopes. We want very much by the end of our days to have _________________________ (fill in the blank). However, it may well be that we will die with that desire unfulfilled. Should that occur, it will be one of the hardest things in the world for us to face and accept. David heard the Lord's "no" and quietly accepted it without resentment. That's awfully hard to do. But we find in David's final recorded words a life-sized portrait of a man after God's own heart.
After four decades of service to Israel, King David, old and perhaps stooped by the years, looked for the last time into the faces of his trusted followers. Many of them represented distinct memories in the old man's mind. Those who would carry on his legacy surrounded him, waiting to receive his last words of wisdom and instruction. What would the seventy-year-old king say?
He began with the passion of his heart, pulling back the curtain to reveal his deepest desire—the dreams and plans for building a temple to the Lord (1 Chronicles 28:2). It was a dream that went unfulfilled in his lifetime. "God said to me," David told his people, "'You shall not build a house for My name because you are a man of war and have shed blood'" (28:3).
Dreams die hard. But in his parting words, David chose to focus on what God had allowed him to do—to reign as king over Israel, to establish his son Solomon over the kingdom, and to pass the dream on to him (28:4–8). Then, in a beautiful prayer, an extemporaneous expression of worship to the Lord God, David praised the greatness of God, thanking Him for His many blessings, and then interceded for the people of Israel and for their new king, Solomon. Take some extra time to read David's prayer slowly and thoughtfully. It's found in 1 Chronicles 29:10–19.
Rather than wallowing in self-pity or bitterness regarding his unfulfilled dream, David praised God with a grateful heart. Praise leaves humanity out of the picture and focuses fully on the exaltation of the living God. The magnifying glass of praise always looks up.

"Blessed are You, O LORD God of Israel our father, forever and ever. Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O LORD, and You exalt Yourself as head over all. Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone." (29:10–12)

As David thought of the lavish grace of God that had given the people one good thing after another, his praise then turned to thanksgiving. "Now therefore, our God, we thank You, and praise Your glorious name" (29:13). David acknowledged there was nothing special about his people. Their history was one of wandering and tent-dwelling; their lives were like shifting shadows. Yet, because of God's great goodness they were able to supply all that was needed to build God a temple (29:14–16).
David was surrounded by limitless riches, yet all that wealth never captured his heart. He fought other battles within but never greed. David was not held hostage by materialism. He said, in effect, "Lord, everything we have is Yours—all these beautiful elements we offer for your temple, the place where I live, the throne room—all of it is Yours, everything." To David, God owned it all. Perhaps it was this attitude that allowed the monarch to cope with God's "no" in his life—he was confident that God was in control and that God's plans were best. David held everything loosely.
Next, David prayed for others. He interceded for the people he had ruled for forty years, asking the Lord to remember their offerings for the temple and to draw their hearts toward Him (29:17–18). David also prayed for Solomon: "give to my son Solomon a perfect heart to keep Your commandments, Your testimonies and Your statutes, and to do them all, and to build the temple, for which I have made provision" (29:19).
This magnificent prayer contained David's last recorded words; shortly after, he died "full of days, riches and honor" (29:28). What a fitting way to end a life! His death is a fitting reminder that when a man of God dies, nothing of God dies.
Though some dreams remain unfulfilled, a man or woman of God can respond to His "no" with praise, thanksgiving, and intercession . . . because when a dream dies, nothing of God's purposes die.


Article excerpted from Charles R. Swindoll, David: A Man of Passion & Destiny (Dallas: Word, 1997), 285–88, 292–93. Copyright © 1997 Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Rise and Hope: Nasreddin's Flower Garden

Rise and Hope: Nasreddin's Flower Garden: "A young man named Nasreddin planted a flower garden, but when the flowers came up so did a great crop of dandelions among them. Wishing to e..."

Nasreddin's Flower Garden

A young man named Nasreddin planted a flower garden, but when the flowers came up so did a great crop of dandelions among them. Wishing to eliminate the unwanted guests, Nasreddin consulted with gardeners near and far, but none of their solutions worked.

Finally, Nasreddin traveled to the palace of the sheik to seek the wisdom of the royal gardener himself. But alas, Nasreddin had already tried all the methods the kind old man recommended to him for eradicating such troublesome weeds.

Silently they sat together for a good long time. At last, the royal gardener looked at Nasreddin and said, "Well, then, the only thing I can suggest is that you learn to love them."

When Illness Intrudes Upon Your Marriage

The Bible says “The two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31) so when illness intrudes upon a marriage by grabbing hold of one of the partners, it can become powerfully invasive.
It can steal away from you so many of the dreams you have planned out together and reduce them into living one day at a time instead, trying to cope with each trial the illness brings with it. It can also test the metal of each spouse’s value system and character traits in what they will be willing to do, in order to help their ailing partner.

“Marriage is two people traveling together, each one more concerned with the other’s well-being than with his or her own” (J.L. Hardesty)

The Bible says in Philippians 2:4, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” It also says, “Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others” (1 Corinthians 10:24).
But when the strained dailiness of living with a very ill partner hits your home, it can be the last thing that comes to mind as far as continually “dying to self” and dying to dreams and “normalcy.” Yet, that is what the vow you gave “to have and to hold in sickness and in health” demands, when illness intrudes upon your marriage.
To help you to grow closer to each other rather than allow illness to separate you as a married couple, you may find it helpful to do something Helena Madsen advices:

“Change your vocabulary. Facing and dealing with chronic illness has never been limited to just the chronic partner. Chronic illness always affects both parties in a marriage. Use the words ‘we’ and ‘our’ when talking about the illness. Notice your level of connectedness and how your emotional intimacy grows.”

Something else Helena advices is the same thing we tell couples continually —whether you’re dealing with an illness or not:

“Remind yourself that divorce is not an option. When you close the door to certain options such as divorce, your mind won’t ‘go there’ when stress or difficulties arise. Close the door to divorce and keep it shut.” (To read more advice, please click onto the Growthrac.com article, “When Chronic Illness Enters Your Marriage“)

It is our prayer that there is “such a oneness between you in your marriage that when one of you weeps, the other will taste the salt.”
It is also our prayer that when illness attacks your home, you will pull together, rather than letting it rip you apart as a marital team. We pray that when each of you is tested through the invasion of sickness, you will grab onto the strength that God can give you to do what needs to be done for your marriage partner.

“Sometimes ‘sickness’ can be the most ‘healthy’ place to be if God is present, because He can change us there” (Myrna Pugh).

To help you in this journey to “health” we have a few links to articles that we pray will minister to your spirits and your marriage. To read, please click onto the Kyria.com web site links provided below:

•  FACING MY FEARS

• ILLNESS: Living With an Intruder

• MY HUSBAND’S TUMOR: No Guarantees

•  WOULD MY MATE LEAVE ME?

• IT’S OKAY TO LAUGH DESPITE CANCER

When someone in the family gets seriously ill, he/she might be the one infected, but the entire family is affected. Whether it’s disease or chronic pain that has changed your relationship with a loved one. Related to this issue, some good advice that Dr Phil gives is:

“Don’t let the disease become your identity. You can manage an illness, or it can manage you. Are you becoming a full-time patient instead of a human being with a disease to manage? Investigate every avenue of rehabilitation and create the highest quality of life. Don’t let the limitations of a disease become as handy as the pocket on your shirt. Do 100 percent of what you can do.”

That’s advice that is difficult to do, especially when the illness or disease is debilitating and/or is consuming so much of your time as you try to manage it the best way you can. But it’s important. Don’t allow this illness to erase who you are and all that God can still do through you —illness or not, by giving it more power than you should.
To learn more advice that Dr Phil has to give, please click on the web site link below (this is not a Christian web site, but it has very good, common sense principles in this document) to read:

• COPING WITH DISEASE

This article was written by Cindy Wright

CHANGE

The days are hot, what a summer this has been. I was thinking about how much has happened so far this year in my life... some good and some not so good.

Sometimes we think how we wish our life would change or that it is not happening fast enough. Then, looking back over a course of a year we see how much has changed. Change can only happen in small doses so we are able to learn what we are supposed to learn out of it. I have noticed if we fail to learn out of the change it will continue to happen over and over until we "get it" and grow forward out into yet another change.

Life is fleeting and ever changing - just like the days and seasons. Nothing stays the same and if you don't like change and do nothing you just grow old and die... or just die. Either way you can't escape change so you may as well be the change, make the change and lead the change.

You can go after it or IT will come for you. You can change the change or the change can change you. Be strong and alert... be ready to take action and always accept change... then move forward. It's like a driving a car - you have to take turns, stop and fill up with gas, speed up, slow down, drive on bumpy roads, smooth roads and sometimes through the rain but as long as you keep going you will arrive at your destination.

Stop Your Implosive and Explosive Responses to Anger

Which couple, when they walk down the aisle ever thinks to themselves, “I’m going to get so angry that I’m going to hurt and emotionally damage my partner in a very deep and real way someday!”? And yet tragically, it happens.
Every one of us gets angry with our spouse at some point in our marriage. You can’t live together day in and day out without finding things you disagree about —things that make you really angry with each other. The problem is, how we deal with the anger we feel for our spouse when that occurs. Do we allow our anger to cause problems that hurt our spouse and our marriage or does our anger lead us to find solutions to help our marriage?

“It’s a very natural thing to feel threatened by someone who disagrees with us. Conflicts feel inherently threatening. We very naturally consider that our opinion or way of seeing things is the ‘right’ or ‘better’ way. If we didn’t, we’d change our opinion or way of seeing things. So when people suggest that our way isn’t right or better, we fear that they’ll take us someplace we don’t want to go—and that creates fear. We tend to dig in our heels and try to prove our point to get them to see things our way, and to admit how wrong they are.
“Once we square off as adversaries, however, the outcome is already assured. We don’t even have to play the game. In conflicts you have only two options: You either both win, or you both lose. Your spouse is your teammate, not your enemy. Be careful as you work through struggles. You’re on the same team!” (Dr Gary Smalley, from Smalleyonline Newsletter 5/2/07)

Isn’t that true? We forget that truth. But something else that is important to face, is that not only can our spouse have a problem in how they deal with anger, but we could too.

“Few people want to admit that they have a problem with anger. Most of us readily see the mismanagement of anger on the part of others, but seldom see it in ourselves” (Dr Gary Chapman)

The Interview With God

I dreamed I had an interview with God.


"Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview Me?"

"If you have the time," I said.

God smiled and said:
"My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; What uestions do you have in mind to ask me?"

"What surprises you most about mankind?"

God answered:

"That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...

That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health...

That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future...

That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived."

God's hands took mine and we were silent for awhile and then I asked... "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"

God replied with a smile:

"To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved...

To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives...

To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis...

To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least...

To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them...

To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness...

To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings...

To learn that money can buy everything but happiness...

To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different...

To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them, and likes them anyway...

To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves."


I sat there for awhile enjoying the moment. I thanked Him for his time and for all that He has done for me and my family, and He replied, "Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day. All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."

A Very Special Meal

Once there was a very poor and devoted woman who always prayed to the Glory of God, asking very little, if anything for herself. But one thought, one desire continued to recur and finally she asked: petitioning the Lord, that if it were possible she would love to prepare a special meal and have God share at her table. And God, in His Love for this goodly woman, said He would indeed come the next day and share a meal.

Filled with ecstasy, the woman went out the following morning with her meager purse and purchased such delicacies that she felt would please the Lord.

Returning home, she prepared a banquet and waited patiently for her most honored guest. Soon there was a knock on the door, and when she opened it, there stood an old beggar asking for something to eat. Being a woman of God, she could not turn the beggar away, so she invited him in to partake of her table. The beggar felt as if he was in a dream - such a feast set before him. He finished all the food, thanked his hostess and left.

The woman was only slightly disheartened, she gathered up her purse, her coat, and hurried back to town to get more food for her special guest. Her funds were less now and so the food was not quite so elaborate. Nonetheless, she lovingly prepared another meal and sat to await the arrival of the Almighty.

A few hours went by and there was a loud knock on the door. This time it was an old gypsy woman with no teeth, who was deaf, who spoke quite loudly and was, rather rudely, insisting that any true believer in the Lord would not deny her something to eat.

Though the woman had no more money with which to buy more supplies, she invited the woman in and offered her a seat at the table. The gypsy ate everything, did not even thank the woman and left without closing the door.

By now it was beginning to get dark both inside and out. The woman's faith was strong, so that, though somewhat distraught, she did not give up, but rather, looked around her humble house to see if there was anything she could sell in order to buy more food to set before the Lord.

She hurried to town with a little silver cup that had been in her family for several generations, but she was willing to part with it for the great honor that God was going to bestow on her - the sharing of a meal.

Late in the night she rushed home to prepare yet a third meal. She waited and waited until, once more, there was a knock on the door. Holding her breath, she slowly opened the door to find yet another poor man in the guise of a wandering monk, in search of a meal.

Again, she offered hospitality, with as much grace as she could muster in her disappointment. This man also ate all that was set on the table and left after blessing the woman for her kindness. So discouraged and dismayed was she that all she could do was nod slightly, in acknowledgment of the thanks.

Now it was too late, with no way to buy any more food and no more money with which to buy it. She got down on her knees, weeping such heart-broken tears. She asked God what she had done wrong. Why had God not come to share at the table as He had promised?

And God, in all His Divine Compassion and Mercy, lifted the woman off her knees, and holding her close to His Heart, said, "My child, I enjoyed your hospitality so much that I came three times!"

 

“Forgive Us Our Debts as We Forgive Our Debtors”

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your father who is in heaven will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive you your trespasses.
Mark 11:25-26 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your father who is in heaven forgive.”
Matthew 18:34-35 “And the master was angry and he handed him over to the jailers until he pay back all he owed. So will my father who is in heaven also do to you if each one of you does not forgive his brother from your hearts.”

There are no unforgiving people in the kingdom of God. But then who can be saved? With men it is impossible, but not with God (Mark 10:27). But then does God make us perfect in this life so that we never fail to forgive? Does he bring us to the point immediately where our response to every personal insult or injury is never, not for a moment, resentment, anger, vengeance or self-pity?
To answer this let us ask: Is forgiveness a unique virtue among all the qualities Jesus demanded in his disciples? That is, is it alone the quality on which the father’s forgiveness depends? No! All of Jesus’ commands must be met lest we perish. It is not just an unforgiving spirit which cuts a person off from God; it is sin. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out, or your father will not forgive you your trespasses (Matthew 5:29). If you call your brother a fool, your father will not forgive your trespasses (Matthew 5:22). If you do not love your enemy, your father in heaven will not forgive your trespasses (Matthew 5:44). Whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble will not be forgiven by my father (Matthew 18:6). Over every command of Jesus stands the saying, “If you do not do this, you will not enter the kingdom,” which is the same as saying the father will not forgive you (Matthew 7:21-23).
So the command, “Forgive that you might be forgiven,” is just one instance of the whole ethical demand of Jesus. It is not the exception; it is the rule. As Jesus says in John 8:34ff, “Everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. The slave does not continue in the house forever.” Or as John says in his first letter, “You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. No one who abides in him sins. No one who sins has either seen him or known him… Everyone who is born of God does not sin because his seed remains in him, and he is not able to sin because he is born of God” (3:6, 9; cf 3:14, 16, 4:7, 8, 12, 16). Or as Paul says, “The works of the flesh are plain…enmity, strife, jealousy, anger…those who do such things shall not enter the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21, cf. 1 Corinthians 6:10; Romans 8:13). Or as the writer to the Hebrews says, “Pursue peace with all men and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (12:14 cf. 10:26ff; 6:4ff). Therefore, when Jesus says, “If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive you,” he is saying nothing different from what the whole New Testament affirms.
Is it a demand for sinless perfection without which we will not be saved? If it were, then what sense would the petition, “Forgive us our debts,” have? Or what sense would the admonition to confess our sins have (1 John 1:9)? If a disciple were by definition one who never committed sin, then why would Jesus instruct him to pray, “Forgive us our sins” (Luke 11:4)?
What “debts” or “sins” did Jesus imply that we would keep on committing? Did he mean all kinds of sins except the failure to forgive? No, he does not classify sins like that. But then one of the “debts” for which we should ask forgiveness is our unforgiving spirit, i.e., our failure to forgive. But notice what happens if we substitute “our failure to forgive” for “debts” in the Lord’s prayer. It would go like this: “Forgive us our failure to forgive (a specific debt) as we forgive our debtors.” But this seems to be a contradiction: “as we forgive our debtors” implies that we do forgive; but our petition, “Forgive us our failure to forgive” implies that we do not forgive. The solution to this apparent contradiction is to recognize that the clause, “as we forgive our debtors,” does not mean that the disciple never has moments when an unforgiving spirit has the ascendancy. If Jesus said that we should pray that our debts be forgiven, and if one of those debts is a failure to forgive, then the phrase “as we forgive our debtors” cannot be absolutized to imply that only a perfectly forgiving spirit can receive forgiveness from God.
When Jesus told his disciples to pray for forgiveness as they forgive others did he not, then, mean that I should pray something like this: “Father, forgive me for my failure today to forgive Tom. I was irritable and wrapped up in myself and when he said what he said I flew off the handle at him and held a grudge all day, savoring in my mind how I might show him up, and keeping count of all the times he wronged me. My conscience smote me this afternoon when you reminded me of your constant mercy toward me. So I went to him and apologized (Mark 11:25). I do not desire to hold the grudge any longer. You have rid me of my selfish indignation and so I pray you will forgive my failure to forgive Tom today and let me not fall into that temptation again.”
In other words, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” does not mean that we are lost if the old unforgiving spirit raises its head just once. It means: No one who cherishes a grudge against someone dare approach God in search of mercy. God treats us in accordance with the belief of our heart: if we believe it is good and beautiful to harbor resentments and tabulate wrongs done against us, then God will recognize that our plea for forgiveness is sheer hypocrisy—for we will be asking him to do what we believe to be bad. It is a dreadful thing to try to make God your patsy by asking him to act in a way that you, as your action shows, esteem very lowly.
Forgiveness is not a work by which we earn God’s forgiveness. It flows from a heart satisfied with the mercy of God and rejoicing in the cancellation of our own ten million dollar debt (Matthew 18:24). With man it is impossible, but not with God. “Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire” (Matthew 7:19). But the plant which endures does so because it is planted by God (Matthew 15:13). No one can boast in his self-wrought merit before God (Luke 17:10); and it is not the rigorous following of rules but a poor spirit and a total reliance on God’s mercy which attains a standing before God (Luke 18:9-14; Matthew 5:3).
But one thing is certain: the person who has, through mercy, been born from above cannot be the same any more. He cannot go on sinning as before since “the seed of God” is in him (1 John 3:9). He walks not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit (Romans 8:4), for he is led by the Spirit (Romans 8:14; Galatians 5:18). God is at work in him to will and to do his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). When we “forgive from the heart,” it is the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). We have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us (Galatians 5:20). We are a new creation (Galatians 6:15); and the mark of our newness is not yet perfection, but a persistent inclination to forgive, a hasty repair of our failure to do so and a steady petition for God to disregard the sin that we are abandoning.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

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It's not what to seek, it's who...

Which is better - Prosperity or Peace? The majority of the population chose prosperity.... no surprise. Why do we live in a society that constantly seeks "things" and beauty? I guess another question would be which is better - Inner Beauty or Outer Beauty?

I will keep this brief... when you die you take NOTHING with you... when you age you lose most of your physical beauty. To seek after the inevitable is living an unsettled life, throwing your peace out the window. I'm not saying it's bad to be prosperous, in fact it's a blessing (a gift) and very few know how to use it. For most, it's destructive in one form or another... when we have everything we seek nothing. When we seek nothing we stop growing/learning. Did I contradict myself? I'm sure your thinking we seek to prosper and then to find peace... not at all. When we seek to prosper WE fail eventually. We seek in the wrong areas. We must first seek the LORD and HE will make your ways prosperous. The ways of the Lord are peace in ALL things.

 John 14:27

New International Version (NIV)

²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33

New International Version (NIV)

   ³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Proverbs 17:1

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹ Better a dry crust with peace and quiet
   than a house full of feasting, with strife.

Galatians 5:22
New International Version (NIV)
 ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Don't Waste Time by Judging Others - it's NOT your job... by Maribeth Jordan

How many times have you been judged for someone else's actions? You know, from a close friend or family member pointing the finger at you because someone close to you chose to do wrong. Judgement from another human being is NOT valid. Judgements are usually biased, made without all facts, and a simple case of fear and insecurity. The old statement holds true... walk a mile in my shoes....

When we overlook the "offender of action" and blame someone close to him/her we are not only excusing their behavior but enabling them to continue by inadvertently blaming another for their actions. Why do people do this? Usually because the offender is weak and does not exhibit the strength to change OR because the "judge" in this case is to weak to confront and it is much easier to blame... a couple more are - jealousy and just plain ignorance!

Most people in this situation find themselves segregated from friends or family... let me say this - If that is your situation then don't fight it. If your not worthy to be around certain people because of someone else's judgements then that is NOT time you want to spend anyway. That is their problem and if they don't think so it's because they are not mature. Maturity is LOVE and ACCEPTANCE and if that isn't being exhibited in your case then consider yourself fortunate that you don't have to spend valued time with someone immature.

Lastly, we can all learn from another... nobody is above reproach. When people make mistakes whether it being the individual themselves or a close friend or family member to the "offender" don't make hasty decisions, don't cast them out, DON'T JUDGE! These people can become someone great whether you think so or not no matter how old, uneducated, poor, mean, etc... example:

Moses was 80 and a murderer before GOD used him and he became a great leader of people. Noah drank to much. Peter denied the LORD three times. Paul was a murderer of Christians before GOD used him. David was an adulterer. Jonah was rebellious and ran from GOD... the list goes on.... these men were all GREAT men of the LORD that he used for GREAT things!

My point, Anybody can be used for great things and it starts with LOVE and ACCEPTANCE after forgiveness (if need be). Even the bum on the street, the drug addict or prostitute can teach us something - possibly different for each person but something. It's the person who claims to have it all together who is LOST. It's the person who can't love unconditionally who is LOST. I just heard a wonderful sermon that had these words in it -
" How can you ever learn unconditional love if the person meets all of the conditions"

When Your Spouse is Depressed and What to Do

On your wedding day you never imagine that depression could cloud your lives to the degree that it can. Not only does it take your depressed spouse hostage and change how they conduct their lives and how they interact with you, it can also confuse and frustrate you. You want to help but you don’t know how to do it without making matters worse.
You may be able to relate to what author Cheri Fuller said about her experience in trying to help her depressed husband. She writes:

“I tried everything I could think of to cheer him up. I pointed out all the positive things he did, such as being a great dad or helping other people. I encouraged Holmes to look ahead to a family trip we’d planned, but that didn’t help, either. As the months rolled into years, neither my encouraging words nor my hard work to take up the slack in our income seemed to make a difference.” (From the article, “When Your Husband Struggles with Depression” —to read more use the Kyria.com link provided.)

One husband, as quoted by Carolyn MacInnes, admitted that his concern for his depressed wife turned into frustration,

“I’d ask again and again what was wrong, but she never had an answer. Not only was I aggravated by my feelings of helplessness, I was angry the life I’d worked so hard to provide wasn’t enough to make her happy.”

His wife added,

“And the more angry he got, the more he’d withdraw from me. Then I’d feel guilty and withdraw even more. We just kept drifting further apart.” (From the Focus on the Family article, “When Your Spouse is Depressed” —to read more, please use the link provided, to read this article and others they have posted on the subject.)

Can you relate to this wife and/or this husband and what they’ve lived through with their depressed spouse? It’s understandable why some couples “drift apart” because depression effects both of your ways in so many ways. It drags you both down and changes things on so many levels.
You may even find it difficult to understand how someone who is “godly” can also struggle with depression. But as Dr Roger Barrier explains:

“Even the godly can be depressed. There is no contradiction between being a person of great faith and a person of great despair at the same time. We often think that great people and grand accomplishments have grand beginnings. Great accomplishments and great lives often are birthed in sorrow. Those who have plumbed the depths of their own inadequacies are the ones God invariably calls to shepherd others. Why?”

To learn more, please click onto the “Preach It, Teach It” web site link to read the following (plus other related articles on the subject):

• CAN A CHRISTIAN BE DEPRESSED?

And to learn even more helpful information on depression, the former publication, “New Man Magazine,” featured an article that explains some of the causes, along with some tips to “beat depression.” Please click onto the link below to read:

• THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN AND DEPRESSION

In addition, I found one more short article that may give you a tip in dealing with depression in your marriage. It’s found on the web site “Madly in Love Forever.” Please click onto the link below to read:

• WHEN LOVE IS CHALLENGED BY AN UNWELCOME INTRUDER