When Your Spouse is Depressed and What to Do

On your wedding day you never imagine that depression could cloud your lives to the degree that it can. Not only does it take your depressed spouse hostage and change how they conduct their lives and how they interact with you, it can also confuse and frustrate you. You want to help but you don’t know how to do it without making matters worse.
You may be able to relate to what author Cheri Fuller said about her experience in trying to help her depressed husband. She writes:

“I tried everything I could think of to cheer him up. I pointed out all the positive things he did, such as being a great dad or helping other people. I encouraged Holmes to look ahead to a family trip we’d planned, but that didn’t help, either. As the months rolled into years, neither my encouraging words nor my hard work to take up the slack in our income seemed to make a difference.” (From the article, “When Your Husband Struggles with Depression” —to read more use the Kyria.com link provided.)

One husband, as quoted by Carolyn MacInnes, admitted that his concern for his depressed wife turned into frustration,

“I’d ask again and again what was wrong, but she never had an answer. Not only was I aggravated by my feelings of helplessness, I was angry the life I’d worked so hard to provide wasn’t enough to make her happy.”

His wife added,

“And the more angry he got, the more he’d withdraw from me. Then I’d feel guilty and withdraw even more. We just kept drifting further apart.” (From the Focus on the Family article, “When Your Spouse is Depressed” —to read more, please use the link provided, to read this article and others they have posted on the subject.)

Can you relate to this wife and/or this husband and what they’ve lived through with their depressed spouse? It’s understandable why some couples “drift apart” because depression effects both of your ways in so many ways. It drags you both down and changes things on so many levels.
You may even find it difficult to understand how someone who is “godly” can also struggle with depression. But as Dr Roger Barrier explains:

“Even the godly can be depressed. There is no contradiction between being a person of great faith and a person of great despair at the same time. We often think that great people and grand accomplishments have grand beginnings. Great accomplishments and great lives often are birthed in sorrow. Those who have plumbed the depths of their own inadequacies are the ones God invariably calls to shepherd others. Why?”

To learn more, please click onto the “Preach It, Teach It” web site link to read the following (plus other related articles on the subject):

• CAN A CHRISTIAN BE DEPRESSED?

And to learn even more helpful information on depression, the former publication, “New Man Magazine,” featured an article that explains some of the causes, along with some tips to “beat depression.” Please click onto the link below to read:

• THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN AND DEPRESSION

In addition, I found one more short article that may give you a tip in dealing with depression in your marriage. It’s found on the web site “Madly in Love Forever.” Please click onto the link below to read:

• WHEN LOVE IS CHALLENGED BY AN UNWELCOME INTRUDER