A Time to Think and a Time to Choose by Maribeth Jordan

I can see the sun shining down through my bedroom window today. It looks nice bouncing off the Jasmine that's wrapped around one of the deck supports. Regretfully, I am sick today, drinking green tea and lying in bed... my window will most likely be the closest I get to the outside today.

Since my father died, I have been feeling down most days. I can't figure out why I feel so down when I know he has died and went to Heaven.... something he has always looked forward to. I still look at his picture and can't believe he is gone. I guess sometimes you just never think your parents are going to be gone forever someday... after all, each one represents security (or at least they should have for some) to a certain degree. Security is hard to part with whether it being a job, companionship, health, etc... anything that brings one the comfort of security. Mental and physical security are alike but in the grand scheme of things so very different... which is worse, living life after losing two legs or love? Both have two very different effects on the human mind - which by the way, I have come to know is a VERY powerful force over the human body. Your thoughts (mind) can make or break you. So true in fact that the bible tells us...
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8

When your mind, body and spirit are separated from one another (contradicting in action, thought or thinking) it's a self imprisoned battlefield. Let me emphasize the word SELF.... self will only take you so far and when your a child of the Lord he will allow you to cross that bridge that leads to nowhere with a sign saying DEAD END... we have no choice but to turn around and CHOOSE our next path. Remember the Lord gives us free will, our instruction is:  “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. Matthew 7:13

It's easy to do, think and act on the wrongs things and in the wrong ways, simply out of laziness, lust or greed. Paul writes about this type of behavior in Romans (7: 15-17) I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.

Sometimes, it's hard for me to get out of my "pity party". Sometimes, it's hard to just stop and pray, read or meditate on what is right. My mind gets caught up in that windstorm of negativity, fear, hopelessness, etc... you get the idea! Who am I apart from God? Better yet, who am I with God... Phil 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Part of my security (in my mind) was taken from me when my father died ~ that is my problem... it should not be that way because our only true security is in the Lord Jesus Christ our saviour. I haven't fully depended on the Lord for all things and still in my controlling mind I THINK  I - must worry, demand, inflict, cause, impart, control, sort, decide or change when all I should be doing is very simple... pray and rely in faith. Simple but challenging at the same time and for us "leaders" it takes restraint and self sacrifice to do so.

I will leave you with this. This life is hard and for those of you who think being a Christian will have an easy life is sadly mistaken. Look at the life of David, Paul and Moses just to name a few. Each of our walks with the Lord will vary and each one of us has a different purpose here on earth. Going at things our own way will not serve His purpose and will for our lives - we will miss out on what could have been. Our ways may bring short term happiness or comfort but will lack in long-term fulfillment and peace. One thing David, Paul and Moses had in common was a peace that surpassed all understanding in each trial they faced... and let's face it we will all come across trials. As a matter of fact we will all experience a time in everything:
Ecclesiastes 3:3-5
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

Who are you going to be with during those times? Who will you serve? I like what Joshua says best:
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15